A spring evening feels more like summer.....

I've been away for a while...there really is no excuse for being away, just taking a time out i suppose. A lot has happened to me since I last wrote - some i'd like to share others I prefer to keep with me. I've been keeping myself busy working as an adjunct professor and spending quality time with myself doing fun activities.

Summer is fast approaching in NYC - the weather is getting warmer by the day. I feel this weather will be settling in nicely into the summer. It's 9:45 pm and it's about 75 F outside...muy caliente indeed.

Ok, i'll be honest, I am having writers' block. I don't know what to write about - I can't find any interest in writing. I don't know if it's the situation that I am in - not really doing what I studied to do or simply that my creativity has been shut down. I'll be even more honest, it scares me feeling this way.

Writing is my life line without it I feel numb and akward. There is more to the story of my life than just living it - writing it is a part of my life too, therefore I feel crippled without it. The worst part is not knowing what to do, to tap into my creative side.

I wonder how long i will have this feeling? I sure hope things begin to look up during and after the summer. It must, because there is no alternative for me. Without writing a part of me shuts down and for me to be whole again i must have all of my parts functioning appropriately.

Until it does, i guess I will be writing about my frustration - I will work through the angst.

Can't Walk Away for Long....!

After two rigorous years of studying politics, particularly pertaining to international relations and current affairs for my graduate studies...I consciously, shied away from reading or writing about politics the past few months. I truly needed time to decompress and occupy my mind with other interests, such as spirituality, art, culture and philosophy. And that is exactly what I did, I embarked on a journey of working for an independent bookstore, where I know I would have the opportunity to meet and mingle with members of the literary world, poets, great thinkers, and story tellers. It was sort of an escape, which turns out to be an invaluable experience for me and quite a contrast from the previous two years. I will not lie, it was great! It was the perfect final ink to this cycle of my life. But one can't run away from their true calling forever. One, can take a breather but sooner or later something within us feels weird, and unsettling and we find out that we've strayed away from our purpose, thus leaving us somewhat weird it out. So here I go on my vent regarding the recent political discourse/narrative that has been dominating the 24/7 news cycle the past month or so:

1. Obama's birth certificate - Really! Is this truly what we want to spend our time on? The man was elected president by the people, he is now the President and has been validated/certified by the proper authorities. Why is this an issue? I have recently been catching up with this story and the back and forth between the libs and the cons has just been unreal. I have to say that I am glad that I was not too much into this story (when it was really hot) until after it piped down a bit, because seriously I might have had to write a letter or something to somebody and voice my opinion to stop this nonesense (people are dying in Afghanistan/Iraq, let the man do his job). I also think that we should give our leaders and our country a little more credit than that. That perhaps they would have done their homework and not put in office an illegal alien, which is what he is being called by some. Gotta laugh!

2 - Glenn Beck- Political pundit for Fox News, finds signs of Faciscm and Communism at the Rockefeller Center which houses NBC/MSNBC owned by Universal owned by GE. I have no comment on this one. Just that it is ridiculous what modern journalism/news has become and the degree of individual caliber who are given a national platform to spout such defile messages and passing it off as real news. See for yourself : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cnTqkckBLI

Anything for ratings.....i suppose.

3 - Japan, the 2nd largest economy in the world and one of the most peaceful countries has

seen a political system change in half a century, when on August 30th, 2009 the

Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) overtook office and knocked to the curb the 25 year

old regime of the conservative Liberal Democratic Party (LDP). This could be a good change for Japan,

however only time will tell. We know that under the LDP, Japan had become an international

economic force to be reckon with, bumps along the way of course. Nevertheless, the country

still stand strong. What is to come under the DPJ, no one knows. But for true democratic freedom

to exist in any country, (friends or foes of the international community) the one party rule can not apply,

and certainly not for over a quarter of a century.

So, for that, I am very pleased with the people of Japan and the course of change that they have

embarked on.

We wish them much luck!

1...2...3

What time is it? Where am I? Am still here? These questions have been in the forefront of my subconscious the past few months. When it comes to patience, i don't have it (ok maybe a little, i obviously hve the patience to write this blog) 

I have been so busy the past couple of years planting my seeds and now years later....where the heck are the flowers? You know when you've work so hard to achieve something or to get somewhere and you are at the place where you can see it but you can't touch it? You've been moving at a rapid pace during planting season and now as you wait for the birth of your plantation you feel like your are creeping towards the birth. All of a sudden everything has slowed down.

You feel like the universe is screwing with you, teasing you, taunting you, daring you to lose control, lose faith, lose perseverance, lose courage. Forcing you to question the reality of your actions and the steps that you've taken? Or rather you could have done something differently? Or perhaps do something to speed things up?

And its funny how it happens to, it's a feeling that comes about abruptly. I mean for days, weeks, months; everything was calm with no hurry because somehow you know it's not quite time yet; and then one day you wake up and you want everything NOW. What happened, i've been waiting for days, weeks, months for this, why haven't I seen results. And one day you wake up and you see the fruit but it's not quite ripe...oooh! it's like a sting in the heart. You almost there, you just have to wait a little bit longer....tick, tock, tick, tock!

In a world govern by oppositional extreme forces..where does patience exist in the realm of reality? Is it action or reaction?

The Unidentifiable....

It's not an average nor an extraordinary one, but it is however quite a remarkable life. Only because I've been very fortunate, though I am fighting many demons and I have beaten many odds, things somehow always seem to work itself out. So I've made it my philosophy to live in the present/moment and be who/what I am.

I currently live in New York City, the capital of something I am sure in the world. It has so many names New York. Born here, half raised here, spent sometime overseas, especially Europe, Asia and the Caribbean Islands. You might think that living and growing up in so many places with various cultures and way of life, would make it difficult for one to find or know their true identity? But that is not the case with me, as as matter of fact, i make it very simple for myself.  My identity is where I am at that moment for that time, no matter where that place happens to be.  I always try to make the places that I call home (meaning my shelter/where I sleep) my home regardless of the fact of rather it is located in NYC, Paris, Tokyo, Bangkok, Dakhar, that is beside the point.  I do so by the decor, flavoring the place with sprinkles of my personality, my character, my interests, my values and my way of life. What matters is where I feel safe and where my spirit feels alive and free to roam the earth. That place will always be the home with which I will identify myself with and hence will define me.

I am truly a socializer, i enjoy entertaining at home, I believe that part of the reason is do to the stories that I can tell about my travels and places I 've live, and also an opportunity to share myself with those closest to me, and those whom I want to be closest to. Because there will be plenty of souvenirs around for people to connect me with while kicking off a conversation which could potentially last all night. It is hard I suppose to truly know me and figure out what I am all about, but that is the way it should be, isnt?.  I am still learning about who I am, and what I am all about...if I have not figured it, how can you?  I learn as much about myself having a conversation with you as I do having one with myself...heee. No there is no insanity here...hah! Though, I personally do not think there is anything wrong with a little bit of insanity, it keeps life interesting.

I've been categorized by so many things: eccentric, snob, cool, avant-garde, bohemian, activist, rebel, individual. Ahah! I find all those titles/categories rather funny, because when I think of myself I just think of being me. Whatever that applies and means, it could very well be all of the above or perhaps none of the above. A hybrid perhaps of something totally transcended and becoming as I grow. My purpose in this world is just that, to learn, grow and become. A metamorphosis forever adapting to its new found condition. As I am becoming, there are certain elements that I will apply to my transformation, to better understand myself, the world i live in and my role in it. Beginning with my interests such as: world affairs, philosophy, politics,  human rights, media, culture and the ins and outs of being a 30 something young city/urban woman.

So throughout this blog, you will read about all these things and my views/feelings/philosophy and interest in them. We will get to know each other this way. More of my background will be revealed, my passions, my pet peeves, my most haves, etc. I hope it will help both you the reader and myself to debunk some of the concept/theories out there by which these topics are dominated. I welcome a vigorous debate/discussion on all that is of interest to you. In addition, it is an opportunity to learn of something new, for me too. So this is my milieu ( a french word for 'surrounding'). I welcome you in it and look forward to a collaborative sharing of information and ideas.

What is my qualification to have a say about these things...well, do I need one? If so, I'll talk about the technicals but i'd really rather say that I am human, it is my nature to be curious, to want to learn, to want to grow, to have knowledge and that should be enough...no? Besides isn't that the new thing? I never miss a boat regardless of the destination. LOL

There are enough silent voices in the world, but we are not those silent voices are we? No, we speak and when we do we speak loud so the whole world can hear (read).